My Dentist

● original essay ●

It was almost 2 o’clock, I was in a hurry, because that I had the dentist’s appointment at 1 o’clock.

 At the office building which I’ve never seen, I was running around and looking for my desk, even though I didn’t know where my desk was. I had to go the dentist immediately but I was still looking for the desk and the document.

 The scene changed, I had been led to the dentist by my friend, Hiroko, in unknown town. I still kept running but she was riding her motorbike with her friend who I’ve never met. They said to me “Hurry up!” and I tried to keep running. When I felt my physical strength had reached its limit, I started flying above them like penguins flapped their wings. While I had a problem of flying smoothly, we could find the station which was beside a red big torii(a gateway to a Shinto shrine). Hiroko said “Here we are. From now, you should take a taxi. Good luck and bye”

 I didn’t see this situation, but I caught a cab reluctantly. When the cab stopped and opened the door, my dentist was there in the cab. “What’s wrong with you, Takae? Let’s check your tooth at my place soon.” My dentist was the great rock star, a bassist of “KISS”, Gene Simons.

Anyway I had a strange dream and I tried to think about the reason why he became my dentist. I came to the conclusion that I have been watching “The Apprentice, 7^th season” which is the show he was in, since several weeks before.

My guess is that if he had a chance to become a dentist, he would become the man who extracted a tooth as soon as he finished drawing on his vast reserves of knowledge about Rock ’n’ Roll and teeth full of passion. And, when he was very happy, he would blow fire from his mouth.

● coreccted essay ●

It was almost 2 o’clock, I was in a hurry, because that I had a dentist’s appointment at 1 o’clock.

 At the office building which I’ve never seen before, I was running around and looking for my desk, even though I didn’t know where my desk was. I had to go the dentist immediately but I was still looking for the desk and the document.

 The scene changed, I was shown (or I was led) to the dentist by my friend, Hiroko, in an unknown town. I still kept running but she was riding her motorbike with her friend who I’ve never met. They said to me “Hurry up!” and I tried to keep running. When I felt my physical strength had reached its limit, I started flying above them like penguins flapped their wings. While I was flying badly, we found the station which was beside a red big torii(a gateway to a Shinto shrine). Hiroko said “Here we are. From now, you should take a taxi. Good luck and bye”

 I didn’t see this situation, but I caught a cab reluctantly. When the cab stopped and opened the door, my dentist was there in the cab. “What’s wrong with you, Takae? Let’s check your tooth at my place soon.” My dentist was the great rock star, a bassist of “KISS”, Gene Simmons.

Anyway I had a strange dream and I tried to think about the reason why he became my dentist. I came to the conclusion that I have been watching “The Apprentice, 7^th season” which is the show he was in, several weeks before.

My guess is that if he had a chance to become a dentist, he would become the man who extracted a tooth as soon as he finished drawing on his vast reserves of knowledge about Rock ’n’ Roll and teeth full of passion. And, when he was very happy, he would blow fire from his mouth.